Don´t expect an article about the sense of life or something similar. I don´t want to spark a discussion about this. This can be an endless story. Rather I would like to empower you to look behind the scenes.
Do you know this commercial of a well-known company where a diva asked some guys who used her deodorant? One guys response is to eat the product because she´s actually acting like a diva. In reality, she is a man. After that, the guys mention that the one who asks for a deodorant becomes a diva when he is hungry. In the next scene you can see the diva eating the product. After eating, the diva turns back into a man.
Have you laughed about the funny clip? Did you also think what´s behind the story? By the way, I don´t mean that they could have used the male version of a diva. The guy in the commercial who turns into a diva is actually not mad. He is not angry because someone might have used his deodorant.
Let’s go a little deeper into the subject. Why are we sometimes not ourselves? To be honest, this was a simple example of someone who is not himself because he´s hungry. Who does not know this situation? Either from yourself because you´ve reflected the situation or from your partner, your colleague or whoever. Let´s imagine, you´re in a restaurant and instead of being happy you´re getting more and more grumpy. Whereas you find different reasons for what’s wrong and what you dislike at this restaurant or at the person across from you. There’s a basic explanation about this situation. Your blood sugar level drops, stress hormones are expelled.
It´s not because we´re bad people
Do you have an employee or a colleague who is acting strange? Is a friend of yours aggressive or rude? Think about the reason. Has something changed in their lives? Sure, you can also adjust the mood, and get angry. Whom will this help? Don´t let your emotions overwhelm you. Likewise, it´s easy to fall in the same pattern as the one towards. Instead, you can and should control your emotions. Do not act on impulse. Talk about things openly and ask why. Take this person out of the situation and talk in a silent moment. Find the root cause.
Why should you do so?
First, you can help the other person. Perhaps you will not change the situation itself. Nevertheless, the other person can feel better after opening themselves. Everyone has sometimes a bad day or a bad week. It can be balm for the soul if someone says something like “Don´t give up, you can do it. Look over it!” Instead, someone who just stays and asks for the why. Second it can help you to be more Stoic. You´ll see the world extra positive. This in mind helped me a lot to understand different situations.
Bullying is not acceptable anyway, maybe the bully does not get enough love from his parents or was even bullied in the past himself? You don’t agree with the size of someone? Is the person too skinny or too fat? Don´t judge, rather try to understand. Have you an employee which is often sick? Talk with him rather than making your own wrong thoughts. It’s not always easy to talk to someone. Especially if you don’t know the person very well. So just try to be a bit more understanding, more emphatic and more human!